A smooth back for me. I share the nest Heleen at the residence of Eurotel, until tomorrow morning.
To summarize our visits in the Hérault: Passing on the beach between Sete and Agde, desert, big waves and some sun to get us dry; visiting circus stony Mourrèze, which must
beauty erosive time, stroll to the lake Salagou (place frequent amusements of my childhood) in the red earth (Rusts more accurately) and discovery unusual in the village of Celles ruined. The explanation given to me by a gentleman warned after the war, when the dam that gave birth to the lake, smart engineers declared the town doomed to submergence under water. Finally, after voluntarily begun to demolish homes, the beautiful people graduate revised his forecast: the town will remain ... emptied of its inhabitants and with a considerably reduced number of intact roofs. Since then, a road that it achieves and curiosity for onlookers. 5:47 p.m.. I'm working on books for students in the program and the sound of motorcycle bored. Why, when it strives to make cars more and more silent, let there be two-wheelers pollute silence potential? Improbable illogical, pseudo privilege of a caste who think more manly than others by the din imposed? And another asshole whoopee! I am furious ... Waiting, always waiting for that man is evolving into a wellness ... In this case, I feel an unfathomable infantilism tolerated ... Just think: what spineless wimp you must be silent to protect the bike!
One last note mad: what a pity that the shooting be banned to bikers as they swarm on the Avenue de la Porte de Lyon ...
[E-mail to Isabelle T.]
Saturday, September 2
Subject: Hello!
Ay-east! I am again a single non-hardened ... My beloved is gone Heleen this morning ... Waiting
little introductory text that I have to appear at the beginning of my Journal (forgot to do and that my grandmother sends me today) before sending the whole e-mail ...
Unfortunately, Sylvia does not go with me ... her boyfriend would not agree ...
Kisses. See you soon. Loïc.
Sunday, September 3, 0:15
Back in my HQ for a night in Lyon found celibacy. My Sheaffer its tracks found here to discuss the popular all-from brain ... Keep it simple ... I struggle to comply.
Heleen left yesterday morning, after having deposited rue Vauban. A perfect agreement that is interrupted by the force of destiny planned for everyone. Despite this complicity, in the end I felt in me the germ of dissatisfaction indefensible. Temperament of a m. .. than mine, I agree. I deserve my marital status.
Another footballing extravaganza tonight opportunity to shed a few tears for "retirement" of the France team of White and Deschamps. The people rejoiced well ...
I discipline myself, tomorrow, for all my pending work. A Sunday to Index my Hash before the beginning of a week to prepare the course retraction pharmacies.
Received yesterday morning, a map of the family F. shipped August 20 in Greece (or peak) with a wrong number, street and news of my friend Marianne D. B. London, fiancee and passing through Paris on my birthday ... Will it
available for an interview? She seems to have found happiness and fulfillment. I will give him some new writing. Rue Mouffetard our shared seems very distant ... I selected a tuxedo for my departure to Monte Carlo an old sign that specializes in theatrical costume. I hope I did not do too much clown.
Monday, September 4, 0:15
Seen last night in Forbidden Zone, a news report on the Jet Set that a film has
practices turned into a mockery. One of the co-writers, some of Brant, belongs to the middle and was portrayed through Lambert Wilson. The reality of St. Tropez, Monaco and Monte Carlo in no way inferior to fiction: the microcosm of the "futility", as claimed in one emperlousée between wallowing, dotted with sequined evening of fine gold and bold minds. Between real frica, the encrusting adroit and between-two that look, superficiality camped unabated. With twenty pounds overweight, Maximo has done well in this universe: Neapolitan-born modest, but with a beautiful face and a figure so muscular, he typed some old sacred as Greta Garbo (70 years) and s' is constructed an address book without equal. I'd missed a few tracks? I prefer my withdrawal from the world of these masquerades partygoers. Poor Basic sweat it all.
Soon Tuesday, September 5 o'clock in the morning. Further development of the index Hash . Tedious work. I send the file by e-mail to Isabelle T. and my father. Martine S. must communicate to me his to receive my text. To a large file like that (about 2.4 million bytes) it takes significant time to connect via the telephone line. But what progress all the same! Back
twelve million students, I get my fourteen students in pharmacy internship Wednesday for reentry. It seems to me that the numbers of Galen fall in this section at least. I
lack of enthusiasm for a lot of work ahead of me.
I faxed my proposed date of introduction Hash to Heim. Sending promotional emails to some Hisloc.
[E-mail to Heim]
Wednesday, September 6
Subject: Re: Response Fax introduction
Dear Heim
I send you my thoughts to more emotional pain you have endured and for testing hospital that t ' ahead.
During this month I will try to correct all the passages excessive public men, and the effects outrageous free ... The introduction was appropriate it ?
I kiss you hard.
Thursday, September 7th, soon 1am
In a few hours, kicking off a new year at Galen (my third season). In this connection, an anecdote: Mr. G., the director of central Lyon, F. Elo believed that I was working on his oral French at the Institute, was my girlfriend. "A very pretty girl," he told Laura that I found the info. This dear Laurence, she seriously engaged, seemed intrigued (and perhaps seduced) by the personality found in a few pages of Hash . Grand
gap between the image that I let my true texture and shine.
Always hysteria in films Zulawski. The woman I public bottom, and the cries reign unchallenged. E-mail
Heim, who is very ill physically (big pain in the hands of apnea and nocturnal). Hospital next to Reims. He tells me that Francis R. read the Hash and it is excellent passages (including the exchange with Sandra) but would be for straight cuts, including excesses against public figures. Heim said he agreed that it would be a shame to cut this Journal . I'll try to rework or correct the relevant passages.
Lionel Jospin has put a stop to the practice of systematic concession under violent pressure. Blocking oil depots in France's economy may reach the heart. The tanks will they be sent to the scene to remove the entries of trucks, tractors, ambulances? The OPEC countries hold in their barrels of good health and very existence of developed countries.
Friday, September 8, 0:01
Big Media expands its newspapers to treat blockages in all directions. On Thursday, has been the highlight of the claims to the four corners of France.
The boss of bosses, the FOR and CGT condemn the action of all three leaders of transportation companies. The reasons differ, of course. During this
engluage National, takes place in Lyon a vital summit on the greenhouse effect: the synthesis report concludes that the elevation up to five degrees of temperature during the twenty-first century, which means for Europe (France and the Netherlands in particular) engulfment considerable chunks of territory, but also the disappearance of islands populated. The selfish individualism reigns supreme and gives no hope of changing habits in the modes of travel. The individual vehicle guarantees the comfort of a good portion of the population, but contributes to the possible occurrence of major disasters.
Monday, September 11 Despite
sixteen hours of train in three days, strikes and delays including, stay in Monaco will be a bracket
magnificence. On Friday evening, after cleaning to express my hotel, I found the hotel's American Bar in Paris thirty people including my dear Shue, John and Alise, a charming New York lawyer with whom the contact is very accomplice. Some speak French, including three young women who stay in the same hotel as me. A somewhat quiet start which ends at Jimmy's, box at the splendid natural scenery and 250 F the glass of soda. After a Saturday afternoon at the beach, I returned to the Hotel de Paris, in a tuxedo for the ceremony of union in the lounge Debussy (with harp and violin). Felted decorations, radiant bride ... The meal that follows in the impressive Empire Room, will confirm the extreme elegance-friendly organization. Shue has been kind enough to put me at a table where they speak French, with familiar faces. Our table (the Caring, christened with the Shue a fundamental quality of marriage among which I remember the obvious Love but Compromise , Honesty ...) is closer to that of marriage. A jazz band during the evening: the improvised dance at the end of each course. The Empire Room is sumptuous and opens onto a terrace where one giant sees the casino. People passing below us seem to look with envy. Before dinner, the cocktail had enabled us to discover the gardens of the hotel, facing the Mediterranean range. The opportunity to discuss with some 
charming young women, whose adorable Alise. During my presentation of congratulations to the newlyweds, and John Shue warmly thanked me for my presence, and a photo captured the moment.
After a hearty meal and its many interruptions, the bravest join again Jimmy's Box frequented by Grimaldi.
I took this trip without downtime and without thrust misanthropic. The quality of places and people saved me from my usual drifts cyclothymic character.
Email this day an e-mail the newlyweds for their express my delight. I also responded to Heleen recently opened an e-mail. Sending a card to Sandra for her birthday and the twelfth Heleen to that of seventeen.
Very descriptive as writing, perhaps too, but I had to keep track of those exceptional moments.
[E-mail to Heleen D.]
11.09., 1:48 p.m.
Subject: Hello from your favorite Lyon! My dear
Heleen, Ravi
can read you. I returned yesterday evening from Monaco, delighted. Many hours by train, with disturbances, but a wonderful stay and a reception for Excellence in Hotel de Paris, beside the Casino. A ballroom-style empire, an orchestra, a sun terrace and lovely people. Shue was gorgeous ... finally everything went perfectly, and I did the best effect, I think, in my tuxedo ... I should have pictures. I would try to equip myself with a scanner to send you by e-mail.
I hope your work at the GP will be more interesting. I kiss you, touches you, taste you everywhere ... A
you read. With deep kissing.
[E-mail Shue and John C.]
11.09, 2:02 p.m.
Subject: Thank you both! Dear
Shushu, Dear John, What
enchantment that stay! I was honored to attend your beautiful union. An exceptional evening in this magnificent hotel with people all the more charming than the others.
(...) I receive an email from Alise, counsel for New York, which I found very adorable and endearing.
However, I would have liked to send an e-mail or letter to two people I forgot to ask for their details: the lovely lady who gave you meet you, and a large, thin blond woman in Zurich with whom I discussed a lot ... If you could contact me ... Waiting
forward to seeing the photos and film of that memorable wedding. Thank you for what you are, thank you Shushu to count myself among your friends. That your happiness is the image of the harmonious evening that I experienced with total indulgence. With more vibrant
my affection for you both.
you soon.
Wednesday, September 13, 1:10
Back Christophe Dechavanne in Olympic form for a new series Ciel mon mardi! First subject on feminism and Bitches care fighting all forms of violence against insults and public women. The noisy debate lacked live tv on the airwaves.
Coincidentally, tomorrow I will give my medical students, during the course of re-entry, a topic on sexual difference and its implications.
[E-mail to Heleen D.]
Saturday, September 16, 11:53
Subject: A very merry joyeuxanniversaire
twenty-ninth year, it brings you everything you hope. My
back for medicines and pharmacies went well. I am giving a few lessons and I advance in the development of my index finger.
I heard that the Netherlands had followed the movement of discontent against the fuel price! Did it have consequences for the supply?
I kiss you tenderly. Monday, September 18
The weeks pass and I do not give any sign of existential leap. The few distractions that I give myself less and less hide the emptiness in my path. With or without enthusiasm, life will pass, anyway. Reviewed
Sander Saturday night for a lovely dinner shared with Cigales, Provence restaurant located Lyon in the sixth. The day before, met a girl of 21 years with the complicity that was quickly revealed. But I keep feeling dissatisfaction: not the woman the rest of my life so ...
The referendum to reduce the presidential term does not passion. Pasqua received the JT A, stigmatized gourds Jospin-Chirac and ranks with some jubilation in the camp of non . Since he turned the turbulent Villiers, he may exercise his omnipotence and his Gaullist southern volubility.
Galen Institute expands even further with the opening of a center in Clermont-Ferrand. In Lyon, Freddy G. leaves his place of Director Ms. H. and investing more profitable functions I presume. That career led smoothly, unlike me who vegetate. For whom, for what I'd ch ... for me? I do not worth it. Tuesday, September 19
Yesterday, a reconnection unexpected. As I finalize my index finger, another attempt (the first of 2000, presumably) for Nadette the phone. After automatic communication of his new number, I on the line. She seems very happy to hear me, assures me that she has nothing against me, and summarizes the four last year (our last interview was in 1996 when her marriage). I do the same and her promise to come see her in her outback. It must support his thesis soon (she was suspended for several years running because when I met her, she was already working on the subject).
I continue to rewrite passages of ferocious Hash free on public figures. Not a large concentration of courses to be given this week. Financial returns are even more remote. I hope the vacation at the University of Lyon III may well be ...
The heavy and empty mind, I seek nothing more and even meetings conducted (Heleen, and most recently Stephanie) I do not mobilize more than the moments shared. I was in Purgatory in 1994 and 1995, I'm a stay against the elapsed time when I did not build anything, neither for me nor for others. My voluntary isolation looks like a definitive renunciation. Even these pages, I have to force myself to the dirty my incongruities, failing to really sink into oblivion every day.
Sydney Olympic Games (where Lucien, half-brother of my mother died of AIDS: nice homosexual who, Viroflay, gave me my first watch, a Kelton kept in a cardboard castle) began very favorably for the French. On the third day, with twelve medals, we culminons in second place, just behind the United States. The enthusiasm that exists in contrast with my sports remugles nauseous.
[E-mail to Heleen D.]
Wednesday, September 20, 8:37 p.m.
Subject: News from Lyon
Dear Heleen,
I hope you were well feted for your Spring 29!
You have received my password by e-mail, but have you received my card by mail?
You have a swimmer's thunder! Have you seen his exploits? And you, the sports front, how does it happen?
I finished my finger and I pursue the correction of outrageous passages.
I kiss you hard.
philosophy given to Elo. Delighted to find her. Rose to power for an honors her tray, she would move to Paris next year. Once boiled endearing that I am separated.
Start reading the manuscript of Jacques L., father of the student that I took this summer. Love according to St. Alban narrates, in a precious, metaphorical language almost to the death, the destiny of the star sent to earth to spread love and to be a child of Jesus. I will submit my report of analysis and assessments before the end of October. Paid work of course.
Received today the 2001 catalog of the collection MVVF. More and more impressive. And I've dropped this great work. The paper used for the reissues, and normally my Hash , offers a touching and a high quality color.
Friday I got to see the fund's former curator of the municipal library of Lyon for the loan of a book on the Berry the seventeenth century.
last night with Stephanie in which I stated my position on the content and fate of our report. She seems to have appreciated my frankness and wishes to continue our relationship of lovers.
An e-mail me Heleen summarizes his last days, pictures of me made by C. Reiterates its invitation to me to come home, and two photos of the wedding sent by Shirin Shue, one of his friends based in Paris. It therefore moves around me, but I feel increasingly empty. The repetition of mistakes and disappointment on my journey to come dry up the soul and heart.
The ransom of independence-insulation holds in the dashed-ment of any professional career in a most unlikely family construction. I act more as a witness deforming around the world, taking here and there some minor pleasures, but fundamentally off. As I assume my survival minimum, I could deceive ("can you lie to yourself?" Philosophical essay topic I have proposed today to Elo!) on my status, but if this is also ephemeral, I could hardly worthy of channels ...
A must have on the big potato: the temperamental Marie-Josee Perec, tucked quietly in France after a simulated attack in his hotel (she snubbed the French delegation and his lovely corner of nature where she was safe). Big Media lets off steam and roundly on the triple (or quadruple) Olympic champion. TF1 in fact his first title before the posthumous testimony from the organizer of the funding RPR Chirac in Paris, which puts into question directly. A little systematic
my pages lamentations. I need a breath gives this writing obediently following the inanities of my psyche. Saturday, September 23
Magnificent feat of French judoka David Douillet: he became the winningest
history of the sport (overtaking a Japanese legend whose name escapes me). What is especially exemplary lies in the determination to reconstruct a physical potential in two months after serious concerns and stop any competition for more than a year. Being a cozy can not mean that today have a faith and courage extraordinary. The impressive guy does not lack finesse. When the consultant in judo, France Television, he asked for confirmation that day to obtain a second Olympic gold medal is the happiest of his life, he remains lucid in the relativity of events and places of birth their children beyond the consecration sport.
Received on Friday, a letter inflamed Heleen with some photos taken in Lyon and during our stay in Font. She could see me from 14 to 22 October. I'm busy and unfortunately I can not push my obligations, especially since this return is not too synonymous with bailout funds to date.
[E-mail to Martin S.]
Sunday, September 24, 7:52 p.m.
Subject: Soaring Lyon
Dear Martine,
Glad you can read. I hope you are well and that you love your carnal pleasure. I have to type changes to my Journal pamphleteer, and I will send it through this, after.
intense pleasure to keep this exchange. Tell me what you want.
[E-mail to Heleen D.]
24.09 to 7:58 p.m.
Subject: On your arrival ... Heleen
My dear, I'd
course very happy to see you, but I may be busy, I can not afford to miss classes to give (my month of September was very fair financially). On gold and I'm already taken from 18:30 to 20:30 at the Galen Institute on Monday and Wednesday evening, and a course on Wednesday afternoon and Friday evening.
It bothers me so that you make a long trip so I can only partially dedicate myself to you ... but my door is wide open course.
I was very touched by your post, but I do not want you t'occultes sentimental tone of my recollection, and especially if you come see me.
I kiss you hard. Monday, September 25
Another week to sell ensuring the subsistence minimum. Business
resume in politics: the Mery tape, disclosed 18 months after the death of Financial rpr, unpacks all the funding mechanism and involves J. Chirac himself. Bouncing of the day: dsk, former Minister of Economy and Finance, had a copy of the summons, but
has not looked at it and has even lost. From realism to thrill. No wonder the bailiff of abstentions referendum for the five widely adopted by the few voters? Side Me: A very pleasant Sunday in C. and some interviews with Stephanie.
Thursday, September 28
My time is very short. Overwork likely, the Galen Institute, if I am charged with the philosophy to prepare students (Bac + 3) to contest the crepe. Seen
Elo date for a course in philosophy. Always a joyous complicity. She reveals things indévoilables (I kept my promise!)
Friday, September 29
True failed to Sup. With Alliot-Marie headed bumpkins and business at his feet, the Gaullist party is not spoiled. No more enthusiasm for putting a real kick in this stinking den.
Tonight I'll try the last Kassovitz with Stephanie.
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